August News

We haven’t even reached the 1st death anniversary of my sister in law, we lost another family member again. This time, it’s a very close cousin from Steve’s Father side, Kuya Melgar.

I’m really annoyed at this point because we were all supposed to see each other in two days, TWO DAYS. It would’ve been a happy celebration of his niece’s 16th birthday. I was already expecting a lot of laughter and added fun memories. We even planned a surprise bowling game after the party for him. I was looking forward to that day like any normal exciting family day actually.

Then this happens. SUCKS. He had a heart attack, revived twice but didn’t make it.

I haven’t fully cried my eyes out just yet because it hasn’t sunk in until I see him. I worry about his wife, Ate Lennie and his sons, Ransel and Jayjay, but I know they’ll get by.

Although he has accomplished a lot in his lifetime and has told us his life stories, even about the Fortuna family tree during our long drives to Ilocos and meet ups wherever, it’s just sad to know once again that he won’t be with us in the future. It’s the actual reason for grieving, missing the presence of the person.

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Steve, Kuya Melgar and Ate Lennie

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I’m not even done grieving for the loss of my first dog here in Philippines, my Kitchie love. Although I kinda expected her passing would be anytime soon coz she’s old already so I’m at peace when my Mom told me about it. I even dreamt of her days after I found out that she died. My dream was she came down a staircase and went licking my face with her ever bright smile. Then I hugged her in my dream and cried till I woke up. I wasn’t crying when I woke up though, which meant I’m at peace wherever she’s at. I usually wake up crying when I cry in my dream especially these past few months. Anyway, I’m grateful for her life and the time I spent with her. She was a gift from Steve and she died at 11 human years old.

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My KITCHIE love.

So right now, I don’t know what to feel about anything and anyone. I guess I’ll never get over this type of news. Everyone will eventually leave this place. Where you end up in the after life is up to you, just make sure to make your journey worth it.

For all we know right now, or as how we’d like to believe, we gained new angels watching over us once again.

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Jealous of the Angels

This is a song dedicated to my Sister-in-Law Ate Mary Ann F. Lea who passed away 40 days ago. Missing her so much.

Jealous of the Angels

I didn’t know today would be our last
Or that I’d have to say goodbye to you so fast
I’m so numb, I can’t feel anymore
Prayin’ you’d just walk back through that door
And tell me that I was only dreamin’
You’re not really gone as long as I believe

There will be another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me,
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question,
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

You always made my troubles feel so small
And you were always there to catch me when I’d fall
In a world where heroes come and go
Well God just took the only one I know
So I’ll hold you as close as I can
Longing for the day, when I see your face again
But until then

God must need another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

Singin’ hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne
Tonight

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June 13, 1978 – August 24, 2017

 

 

Another Loss, Another Gain

I gained another angel last August 26, 2013. This happened when our neighbor, who’s a police shot one of my dogs to his death just because my dog tried to “threaten” him behind our house gates. I don’t believe his term though since he was behind our gates and my dog fell like one foot behind it after he got shot.

In all ways our neighbor gets the blame for he is in no position to do such a thing even if my dog bit his daughter the night before. Besides, it’s his daughter’s fault because she climbed our Bayabas/Guava tree on our front yard and got her foot stuck in our grills. As a guard dog, it is only instinct that my dog, Tantan, would defend his territory. Even so, it’s understood for me to take charge of their expenses since the child was bitten by my dog but with what my neighbor did, I called it quits. He was off duty and with no reason to use his gun and put justice into his hands to take an innocent life. All cases point to them, trespassing, abuse of authority plus violation of the animal welfare act.

Every now and then I still blame myself for not being there but I guess it’s part of the grieving phase. I didn’t cry much but I had my moments. I am truly grateful for my dog’s service to our family and God knows how much I treasure my pets. I love them so much. Even more than humans.

I’ve grown attached to my pet dogs because I’m an only child and pets are the only ones who are always there for me when no one else will. Dogs will never judge you, they will always be loyal and faithful and they’ll never pretend to show what they feel. I’d say they’re even better than humans.

The Lord will take care of the offender and I’m sure he will learn his lesson the hard way.

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I will forever miss you Tantan. I will always remember you as the sweet and quiet one who will always stay in the corner. You loved drinking water so much no matter how weak you are when you got your rabies shots. You wouldn’t eat standing up which looked adorable and you never started a fight with the others. Thank you for the 6yrs you’ve been with us. I love you.

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Thank You!

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Minutes after the fall. Yeah, I can still smile. Smile despite your pain. lol

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Hours after the fall.

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Covered in ointment.

After exactly 7 days. Scars present but not too obvious.

After exactly 7 days. Scars present but not too obvious.

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The ointment I used that made my wounds heal faster. Thank you Calmoseptine!

What happened?

I fell hard on my face during a mini hike in the province last Good Friday. I was unconscious so my body lost its motor skills that’s why I didn’t get the chance to use my hands to at least prevent my face from hitting the ground. Factors that caused myself unconscious was lack of air (i didn’t breathe¬†continuously) and the scorching heat that day.

Lesson Learned: Never stop breathing especially when you’re tired. Your body needs more air when you’re tired.

Anyway, we cut short the hike and went back home to treat my wounds instead. I felt bad that we weren’t able to reach the peak since it was just a really small mountain compared to the other mountains I want to climb.

The next day, I decided to go again and hike the mountain but of course I am more cautious this time. I DID IT!

Here’s the view….

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Never give up! Everything’s worth a 2nd try…